September 12, 1994

Written by

Janis Hirsch

Directed by

Lee Shallat-Chemel

Previous Episode

I Don't Remember Mama

Next Episode

The Playwright

Fran decides to put Mr. Sheffield back on the social scene after he's elected the 3rd most eligible bachelor. Fran and Val decide to take him to a night club, and Mr. Sheffield meets Leslie, a perfect replica of Fran. Oddly, Niles seems to be the only one who notices the resemblance between the two. Mr. Sheffield ends up breaking up with her because there was something missing on her, but thanks Fran for taking him out of his 5 year mourning. Meanwhile, the kids are back to school and Brighton has problems about being the smaller in the locker room, which creates a big confusion until he explains he's actually shorter, not "smaller".

Cast Edit

Main Cast Edit

Recurring Cast Edit

Guest Cast Edit

  • Sherman Augustus as Bouncer
  • Tracy Kolis as Leslie

Quotes Edit


Maxwell: First day of school already, huh? Summer just flew by.
Fran: Spoken by a man who did not see Lion King 257 times.

Niles: (Referring to Brighton) Mr. Sheffield thinks their talk went rather well.
Fran: Oh, Mr. Sheffield thinks C.C. goes horseback riding for the exercise.

C.C.: Well, I think it's very distasteful of Maxwell to be dating so soon. Isn't a decade the standard period of mourning?
Niles: Die, and let's find out.

C.C.: (After Niles drags her into the living room by her arm) Niles! What is so damn important?
Fran and Leslie: (In unison) Hi!
C.C.: Good God, it's multiplying.

Fran: Oh, you didn't like her? Gee, I thought her charm was only exceeded by her beauty.
Maxwell: Oh, she had a certain way about her. There was just something missing. Like ordering champagne and getting ginger ale. You know, they look alike, but don't make you feel the same.

Niles: (To Maxwell) You see I should have used my oven mitt instead of this somewhat inferior substitution. But I didn't realize I wanted my oven mitt until I saw them together, and then I understood that of course my oven mitt is exactly what I wanted and, goodness gracious, it was under my nose the entire time.

Fran: Where's the Nintendo?
Niles: I accidentally pounded it repeatedly with a meat mallet.